Dear Insane Children,
Thank you! For all the feedback on the Cheshire Kitten Adoption Certificate.
In this post I’ll explain why I’ve rejected all your comments! Yay!
Er, yeah, seriously… Here goes!
First, Priscilla asked why we didn’t include the “don’t insert the earring into your orifices” warning. If you don’t understand this reference then you clearly didn’t watch last week’s Livestream. Good decision. You probably saved a few brain cells.
This suggestion was rejected because… well, people who dictate what other people do with their orifices are Literally Hitler. So, no. Free the orifices! (But please don’t stick my products in them… or at least what until we release American McGee Brand Sex Toys).
Second, Cornelia suggests that we “distress” the certificate in order to make it appear as if the Cheshire Kitten had tried to claw its way out of the bag. Fun idea. Nice story telling. Great imagination. But… no.
This idea is rejected because it would require extending the effect to the entire interior of the bag. Unless you’re suggesting the Cheshire Kitten focused all his Escape Rage on the Adoption Certificate and magically avoided damaging the rest of the interior of the bag?
Also… it’s a Cheshire Kitten. He can just vanish into thin air. Which is exactly what he does whenever you’re not looking. Not only is this thematically appropriate but it also reduces shipping weight and saves on postage!
Third, Wendy writes that we might indicate on the tag that the earring can be removed. This is true, Wendy. The earring can be removed. And I suppose we’d mention this in case people want to give the Kitten to their children as a plaything?
This is rejected because… Cheshire Kitten Is No One’s Plaything! Rawr! Look, don’t give the Cheshire Kitten to a child dumb enough to remove and eat a metal earring. Do you really need a Magic Disappearing Cat from an M-rated game to tell you that? Really?
Fifth, Kelly suggests that we “center 3 care intructions” becawse “it’s more aesthetically pleesing.” And I total understand the sugestion, Kelly, because I too have OCD. And you’re correct that the formating changes from Center to Align Left for the List of Cautions.
This is rejected for the same reason I intentionally skipped “Forth” and mispelled a bunch of werds in the paragraph above. Because the change in format and slight bias towards the left of center causes the List of Cautions to stand out from the other contents in the block of text.
You tell me… doesn’t that feel a little too “on the nose” and run together? Lulu says, “That’s right hooomin.” (But she always agrees with me because I have treats in my pocket).
F) Omri wrote emailed and said that the world no longer needs “www dot” in front of a domain name. And that “www dot mysterious.design” could be simply “mysterious.design” – which is true. We could do this because its an easy change and the domain still resolves when you use only “mysterious.design” but…
REJECTED, Omri! Because… have you seen the comments we get on Instagram and Facebook? People writing to ask, “Hur dur. When will this be available?” on a post in which the first line of text is “This will be available on August 1st, 2019” or saying things like “The link doesn’t work!” because they have yet to figure out that they have to manually type the thing into their browser (links don’t work inside Instagram posts).
Now imagine what happens when those same people see “mysterious.design” at the bottom of this certificate. Do you think they’ll realize that’s a domain name? Noooooo…
So it’s staying “www dot mysterious.design” even though, I agree, it looks R-worded.
So… what you see is what you get!
Seriously: I love you all and your feedback is super wonderful. I’ve said it before… this process of working together with the Insane Children to design and create all this fun stuff is literally the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. So, Thank You!
We’ll send along pictures of the revised bag in around week. Which happens to coincide (roughly) with the date on which the Cheshire Kitten Promotion will start in earnest (August 1st, hur dur).
From Shanghai Where it’s So Hot My Brain Has Melted,
-Amirecan