So it turns out that last week’s news report on Islamists using US video games to recruit and train new terrorists was complete bunk. The supposed recruiting tool was in fact a video made by a US game player using existing voice over from the movie “Team America – World Police”, among other things.

The really scary thing about all of this that the media and Washington officials were so willing to fall for this story. When reported last week it was treated as absolute fact. A Pentagon official named Dan Devlin was quoted, saying:

“What we have seen is that any video game that comes out… (al Qaeda will) modify it and change the game for their needs.”

I’m curious what Mr. Devlin has to say about the issue now. He makes a blanket statement regarding “any” video game being used by al Qaeda. Does this mean that terrorists trainees are at this moment doing reflex training to Dance Dance Revolution in the middle of the desert?

No. Really. At this very moment, terrorists all over the world, are modifying video games into murder training simulators, and conditioning themselves to attack you.

Islamists using US video games in youth appeal
SAIC executive Eric Michael said researchers suspect Islamic militants are using video games to train recruits and condition youth to attack U.S.-led coalition forces in Iraq.

I was going to get all pissed off about those pesky Islamists subverting video games for use against the US until I read this:

Churches Use Violence to Develop Warriors for God
There is currently a nationwide movement to use pop culture to bring teens to God through use of a video game called Halo 2.

“What?!” you say. Well, clearly boys and girls, what we have here is the making of the first Global Interfaith Deathmatch Showdown: Jesus vs Allah vs. Muhammad Vs Buddha vs Shiva. Shiva the DESTRUCTOR! Sunday Sunday Sunday! It’s Monster Deity Demolition MADNESS! Be the first to watch from a distance lest you get too close and lose a soul.

Someone please call the Cyber Athlete League and tell them to get working on setting this up right away. Seriously, this is the solution to all the world’s problems. Think about it: Cyberwarriors from Iran to California duking it out ONLINE in Halo2 deathmathes. An end to war. An end to violence. Brilliant!

And all this time I thought video games were all bad.